Creative Responses to the question "Why do you run ultras?" or "Why would you want to do that to your body?"
If it gives me happiness and a sense of fulfillment and harms no one, how could I not do it?
You now how some people say, "life is passing way too quickly". Well, during a long ultra you can really slow things down--TIME CRAWLS!
You do a lot more harm to yourself by not exercising than you do by running ultras. Why would you do THAT to yourself?
It's crazy... but other than that, it's kind of fun.
"It curbs my violent tendencies" (especially effective when said while holding a knife, axe or chainsaw)
Any idiot can run a marathon, but it takes a special kind of idiot to run an ultramarathon!
It's no more foolish than chasing a little white ball around a big lawn and trying to hit it into little tiny holes!
I'm running from my fat ass but it's right behind me so I gotta keep running.
If we didn't run like this, how would we know how far we could go?
I do this because it is the only thing I have found (outside of S&M perhaps) that gives me such incredible pleasure and incredible pain that I feel completely connected to my own existence.
Because I'm a bad person and deserve pain, and running a 100 miles is my penance. I know, there is some deep psychological disorder but at least it seems like a healthy outlet for those feelings.
"If you have to ask, you'll never understand".
"I've got dangerously low cholesterol, and the food you eat during an ultra is generally very high in cholesterol. That's why I feel better after a race."
My mother abused me by constantly dropping me on my head.
What? You mean everyone doesn't do this!?
It gives me the chance to practice singing Alice's Restaurant till I get it right.
Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
The drugs, I do it for the drugs.
Because I get to show off my cute butt in those sexy tights.
Hell, I spend $50 to run a marathon and all they have at the aid stops is water.
My wife refuses to tie me down and take a whip to my legs.
The devil made me do it.
To those who know, no explanation is necessary .... To those who do not know, no explanation will suffice.
I do it for the fame and fortune and wild sex from all those ultra groupie women.
How else am I going to reach the finish line, duh?
I just went out to jog a mile and I forgot to stop.
It is just so beautiful- the trails, the sky, the feelings throughout, the joy at finishing.
I haven't found anything else that gives me such a feeling of pride.
If it gives me happiness and a sense of fulfillment and harms no one, how could I not do it?
You now how some people say, "life is passing way too quickly". Well, during a long ultra you can really slow things down--TIME CRAWLS!
You do a lot more harm to yourself by not exercising than you do by running ultras. Why would you do THAT to yourself?
It's crazy... but other than that, it's kind of fun.
"It curbs my violent tendencies" (especially effective when said while holding a knife, axe or chainsaw)
Any idiot can run a marathon, but it takes a special kind of idiot to run an ultramarathon!
It's no more foolish than chasing a little white ball around a big lawn and trying to hit it into little tiny holes!
I'm running from my fat ass but it's right behind me so I gotta keep running.
If we didn't run like this, how would we know how far we could go?
I do this because it is the only thing I have found (outside of S&M perhaps) that gives me such incredible pleasure and incredible pain that I feel completely connected to my own existence.
Because I'm a bad person and deserve pain, and running a 100 miles is my penance. I know, there is some deep psychological disorder but at least it seems like a healthy outlet for those feelings.
"If you have to ask, you'll never understand".
"I've got dangerously low cholesterol, and the food you eat during an ultra is generally very high in cholesterol. That's why I feel better after a race."
My mother abused me by constantly dropping me on my head.
What? You mean everyone doesn't do this!?
It gives me the chance to practice singing Alice's Restaurant till I get it right.
Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
The drugs, I do it for the drugs.
Because I get to show off my cute butt in those sexy tights.
Hell, I spend $50 to run a marathon and all they have at the aid stops is water.
My wife refuses to tie me down and take a whip to my legs.
The devil made me do it.
To those who know, no explanation is necessary .... To those who do not know, no explanation will suffice.
I do it for the fame and fortune and wild sex from all those ultra groupie women.
How else am I going to reach the finish line, duh?
I just went out to jog a mile and I forgot to stop.
It is just so beautiful- the trails, the sky, the feelings throughout, the joy at finishing.
I haven't found anything else that gives me such a feeling of pride.
No comments:
Post a Comment